Who bit Beyoncé is the greatest pop culture mystery in recent memory

For reasons that are unknown to Tiffany Haddish and the entire world, an unsavory culprit bit Beyoncé's face past year at an after-party following a December Jay Z concert in 2017. Though some internet sleuths have sniffed out several possibilities, there hasn't really been a definitive answer as to the would-be assailant. The real person? I *never* would have guessed.

The Last Black Unicorn author took to Instagram to address the haters and state that she will always go to bat for the Queen.

"Listen, I think we've all done things, under the influence", she mused. Because Tiffany Haddish told us so, more specifically, GQ magazine in a profile released Monday. Haddish said in an earlier interview that Bey stopped her from beating up someone (presumably the woman who bit her) by taking a selfie. "Y'all are amusing. Under no circumstances did I bite Beyonce and if I did it would've been a love bite", she said.

It has been revealed Beyoncé was bitten by an actress at a party back in December and the internet can not deal. "She was like, 'Tiffany, no". Don't do that. That b***h is on drugs.

Using the hashtag #WhoBitBeyonce, Twitter users narrowed the search down to Queen Latifah, Nip/Tuck star Sanaa Lathan and 90210 star Sara Foster.

She wouldn't even spill the tea to Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb on Today!

Now, the million dollar question is: "Who bit Beyonce?". "I asked [husband] John yesterday, I was like, 'It's not me, is it?'"

Other names that have been floated include Jennifer Lawrence, but Vulture claims that she was in NY at the time of the alleged biting incident.

Other actresses being dragged into the "Who Bit Beyonce?" controversy include Lena Dunham, Jennifer Lawrence, and Taraji P. Henson. Lawrence was likely in New York City when the biting brouhaha happened, Vulture pointed out.